Finding out that your partner has been cheating can feel like a death sentence for your relationship.
Even if you decide that you want to try to move past it, it’s not an easy process. Either way, there will be arguments, there will be tears, and there will be dark moments of self-doubt.
If you’re in the midst of this scenario right now, you might feel lost. You know you need to keep moving forward, but you just don’t know the way out. There isn’t a quick fix for these feelings. But figuring out a supportive self-care routine can help you turn things around.
Here’s why practicing self-care in the wake of infidelity is absolutely essential.
1. Taking Care of Your Physical Health
A broken heart won’t kill you, but you might neglect to take good care of yourself. When you’re having relationship troubles linked to infidelity or you’ve decided that there’s no way your relationship can bounce back now that the trust has been broken, the stress can easily cause physical symptoms.
Without prioritizing self-care, you might find yourself up at all hours of the night and feeling exhausted the next day. You may want to binge on all of your favorite comfort foods, or you may have no appetite at all. But if you feel physically unwell, it’s going to be difficult to cultivate a positive outlook.
A strong self-care routine can help you feel physically and mentally better with each passing day. Taking care of basics like eating, resting, staying active and avoiding alcohol is essential.
2. Making Time for Reflection
At a time like this, you need to reflect. You’ll have to do the difficult work of acknowledging where things went wrong, and then figuring out how you can move forward from here. Incorporating yoga, meditation, journaling, and other popular self-care methods into your daily routine can help.
You need quiet, contemplative time to yourself to sort out your thoughts and work through your feelings. When you get into the groove of a regular self-care routine, you will always have a few daily moments of reflection. Don’t let self-reflection consume your day, instead schedule it in to your day.
3. Recognizing Your Self-Worth
Infidelity can destroy your trust in your partner, and for some couples, trust in themselves. But sticking to a solid self-care routine can actually help you work on your self-respect and learn to trust in yourself. It may seem like a stretch, but it can be effective.
For example, you may promise yourself that you’ll return to a hobby you neglected in the past few years. If you stick to your routine for a month, you’ll see that you can rely on yourself and know that when you make a commitment, you uphold it.
Someone else may let you down. But you’ll know that you can always lift yourself back up.
4. Building Resilience
When you are forced to come to terms with betrayal, your initial anger at your partner and the entire situation can light a fire under you. Consequently, you may find the strength to stand up for yourself and demand fundamental changes or walk away from the relationship.
But over time, your resolve might weaken. You may be tempted to give in to their excuses for their behavior and their requests to go back to how things were. He or she may not have done the hard work of examining why they strayed from the relationship.
Yet, with a self-care routine that regularly reminds you that you deserve better, you won’t be so eager to return to a toxic relationship. You’ll be strong insisting they show meaningful changes, or, in your decision to move forward with your own life. Either way, you will know that you don’t need them to be happy.
5. Celebrating Yourself and Centering Your Needs
When you’re in a relationship, you have to consider the other person’s needs. And if they treat you well, you don’t mind doing it!
But after infidelity, you may despise how you went out of your way to help and support your partner when they failed to honor you.
As the dust settles, you need to take this opportunity to learn what you need in the days and weeks ahead and put them front and center. Now is the time to take back control of your life.
If you’re struggling with the aftermath of infidelity, therapy can help you regain your self-confidence and rebuild your life. Contact me today to discuss how I can help you with that journey.